The comfort in the familiar, why do we return to old books, films, places?

Here walks Beth. A woman terrified of change. I don’t know whether speaking these words about myself still feels true; now I have voluntarily evoked one of the biggest changes of my life and have moved out of home and now live alone, in a flat I own (singing Get Down from Six in my head now). But I am one to return to the familiar when I feel sad or alone… but why is that?

Do you reread books? Or perhaps rewatch films? And I know that you listen to the same album on repeat sometimes… like me with Hamilton for the last four-plus years. We as humans retrace our steps back to the familiar at times of uncertainty, or just at any time at all. In the midst of lockdown I think one of the big things that felt so amazing about being allowed to go back to the shops was how familiar they felt, they reminded us of a time before this virus outbreak, when we could live our lives without this constant fear (jokes on me because I have contamination OCD). But stepping back into a bookshop and browsing the shelves felt like a simpler time, one we didn’t even know was simpler. We never know when the world is going to spin upside down, we never know what moments will give us the warmth and safety of that familiar feeling, the homely feeling. It’s like memory, we never know what memories we make will stay with us forever.

I was thinking about writing this blog post as I returned ‘home’ for my first weekend since moving out. My room has been transformed so that’s not the same, but the rest of the house was. It felt familiar. It felt safe. Sitting down on the sofa, in my usual spot, I had the same view I have had for the past three years since we moved there. Nothing felt any different – maybe there’s a danger in that – but at that moment it felt familiar. And it had me thinking about how safe it feels to go back to something so well known. It feels very much like it soothes my soul and is good for my head and heart.

I’m not a thrill-seeker, I don’t think so anyway. I enjoy to travel, to explore, to learn, to have adventures. But I always like to come back home, whether that’s physically, or perhaps through the pages of a favourite book, or film, or song. For me, being surrounded by something I know makes me smile. There’s always going to be an uncertainty in the new, a fear perhaps. When you start a new book you never know if you’ll like it. When you move home you’ll never know how you’ll react. But that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t do new things, nor does it mean we have to negate the old. I like the world where I can balance myself between two stages, the Beth who has the familiar lounge, the book she always goes back to, the song that makes her feel safe. And then the Beth who is in a new home, with new things, new books to read, films to enjoy, music to sing along to. The later is way scarier, but by having the familiarity of my past around me too, it feels a little less daunting.

This probably seems like a weird flouncy blog post – but it was just something that came to me as I was staring into the distance at the weekend. Familiarity. What does it mean to you? Perhaps for you, it isn’t safety, maybe it’s boredom or regret, maybe it’s something you run from rather than embrace? I’d love to know!