Face the Fear, Stacey’s story: Stacey faces her fear of solo travelling

As part of my new blog series, Face the Fear, I will be interviewing women about how they have faced their fears and what they went through to get to where they are now.

This series is tapping into the minds of incredible women, who have one way or another faced their fears. You can read the original Face the Fear blog post to find out why I wanted to write this and what my own fears are.

First to be interview is Stacey, you can find her at over at her blog, prettybooks.co.uk, Twitter @ThePrettyBooks, or Instagram @PrettyBooks

Tell me a bit about yourself? What do you do, what do you love, where are you from?

Hi! I’m Stacey. I’ve worked in the book industry for 7 years and can usually be found reading, hanging out with my equally bookish friends, or blogging in my favourite coffee shop. I’ve lived in London nearly my whole life, so I love visiting other cities and exploring the countryside.

 

What is the fear you’re going to be writing about today?

Dealing with the fear of travelling solo.

How long have you had this fear/what made it start to develop?

I went on my first ever solo holiday abroad in 2017. For 28 years, trips to European cities were strictly family holidays. As fellow single people will know (especially fellow introverts), not having a partner – whose purpose is to be your companion – can be extremely difficult when it comes to making plans. I’d been to the cinema on my own (not as awkward as it seems), eaten out on my own (lunch at Pizza Express), and explored London on my own (it’s not like you’re ever truly alone), but travelling solo seemed unimaginable and frightening. Is it safe for a single female? Would I have to make friends with fellow travellers who prefer partying and drinking? What do I do in the evenings?

When/why did you realise you had to face your fear?

I’d planned to visit Stockholm, Sweden with a friend… but then the friendship ended. My friends suggested going on a solo adventure, but I kept saying, “I just can’t”, “It’ll be horrible”, “It won’t be fun” and “It’s not the same”. But not going also felt horrible.

One night, while looking at photos of Stockholm, reading about how lovely it was, how safe it was, and how many single girls travelled alone, I booked my flights and hostel for less than £200. I picked a hostel with a female-only room. It had excellent reviews, seemed clean and safe, with a shared kitchen, pasta nights and a room full of iMacs. I was so excited and I told everyone – my friends, my family, my colleagues. I was going to Stockholm!

How did you face your fear?

Even once I’d booked the trip, my fears didn’t go away, but I made sure that I was as prepared as possible. I made a list of places to visit – museums, coffee shops, parks and bookshops – so I’d never run out of things to do. I made a list of everything: flight times, how public transport worked, what to pack, what to have for breakfast/lunch/dinner. In Stockholm, I made sure to share my adventures on social media and I spoke to my family and friends every day. I found the airport much less stressful because I could go at my own pace, and I didn’t have to worry about whether the other person wanted to do/see the same things as me. And you know what? I had a brilliant time!

That’s not to say that it was smooth sailing. As soon as I got there, my PIN didn’t work and I couldn’t pay for public transport (all sorted once I stopped panicking and breathed). I also felt ill and lonely on the second day (cured by an afternoon nap), but for the most part, I had an amazing time and was so proud of myself.

And just a few months ago, I travelled to Melbourne, Australia alone. I took a 24-hour flight and spent two weeks across the other side of the world. Unfortunately, a lot went wrong logistically and health-wise, but, at 29, I did something that 25-year-old me would never have dared to do.

I found travelling solo much less scary than going to university or starting a new job. You’re doing something for you, because you want to and not because you have to. Life can be challenging if, like me, you rely a lot on other people. But when relying on other people means missing out on life experiences – whether a once-in-a-lifetime gig or the chance to explore a new city – you’ll find that nothing is as scary as doing nothing at all.

Thank you so much, Stacey, for sharing your story and kicking off this new blog series. I am in awe of your solo travelling and you’re inspiring me to want to do the same. 

If you’d like to get involved in this blog series, please email me at beth@booksnest.co.uk and I’ll send you through everything you need.