It’s okay not to be okay, let’s talk about mental health

When people aren’t feeling their best mentally, they seem to apologise. They say sorry for how they are feeling, for their mental health. It seems to have become the default that we need to say sorry for having emotions and feeling things. But do you know what? It’s okay not to be okay and you never need to apologise for it, ever.

“Mental health includes our emotional, psychological, and social well-being. It affects how we think, feel, and act. It also helps determine how we handle stress, relate to others, and make choices. Mental health is important at every stage of life, from childhood and adolescence through adulthood.” – MentalHealth.gov

I am someone who has struggled on and off with my mental health. Years ago I was told I had depression and I still don’t think that was quite the right diagnosis. I know however that I have contamination OCD and I know that those symptoms can often be quite irritating for others but I refuse to say sorry. I may need to be cleaner than people would expect, or perhaps I won’t share a drink with someone or don’t want to touch a bannister. But do those things really affect someone else’s life? Not really no, just mine. If I vaguely make someone else feel uncomfortable or annoy someone, that is nothing to the battle going on in my brain.

It has taken me a while to come to terms with the fact that it’s okay for me to not feel okay. By saying sorry, it makes it sound like I’m ashamed of my mental health like it shouldn’t be accepted. But we’re currently entering into a world where mental health awareness is popping up in so many places. There are a lot of free services offering help, HR teams in workplaces are becoming more aware and generally in day to day life mental health is mentioned a lot. It is no longer something to be ashamed of or hide. Whether you want to talk about it not is entirely up to you of course, but never feel like you need to pretend to be okay when you’re not.

On the days I don’t feel great, I usually tell someone I’m not feeling my best because I find it helps. I also turn to music to try and make me feel better, something jolly and upbeat can do wonders for me! I also think within the world of social media, sometimes certain topics can be harmful. If you know something is a trigger to make you feel worse, try and mute the term on social media.

If you need to stay in bed somedays, that is okay too. Don’t make yourself do something that is going to make you feel worse. You’re only one person, you need to take care of yourself. I know it’s hard to take a break, sometimes it’s not possible and that is crap. But if you can, try and take the breaks when you need them. You have to judge what is best for you. We work jobs to provide us with money to live our lives, but we also need to make sure our brain is healthy and happy so we enjoy living them.

Never say sorry. Take care of yourself. And don’t feel ashamed to admit you’re not okay.