I’m writing this post after being involved in a conversation in which I was made to feel bad for not wanting to drink a lot of alcohol and get drunk. I left this talk feeling oddly awkward that other people thought to judge me because of my alcohol consumption, but also oddly empowered that I know how much fun I am without alcohol.
When did I first try alcohol?
I had my first proper drink at university, age 18. At school when people were getting stupidly drunk at parties on alcopops and cheap beers, I was sitting with my bottle of Sprite/Coke. I did not like the taste of alcohol. And as someone with OCD, when the chance to share saliva with someone else and try their alcoholic beverage arose, I would always decline. Therefore I never tried many drinks.
Then university came along, I wanted to try and be able to have a drink, I wanted to join in. So I tried the most non-alcoholic tasting drink I can find, a malibu and coke. And do you know what guys? This apparently teenage drink is still my go to now. I think this is quite sweet tasting, I certainly can’t taste the varnish-esk flavour that follows a drink involving vodka. The only issue I have with it? The coke gives me a stomach ache after two/three glasses.
From the start of drinking though, I always knew my limit. I can say to this day, I have never been drunk, nor have I experienced the side-splitting headaches of the dreaded hangover. I am a two drink women… three at a push. I know when to stop. And here apparently is where my issue lies?
“You’re so boring, why do you stop at two drinks?”
“Go on, have some fun, have another drink”
“You’ve never been drunk? You clearly aren’t hanging around with the right people”
“Oh you haven’t had a hangover? Let me break you!”
Just some of the lines I have heard over my adult life, some of them very recently. The suggestion that you have to drink to have fun, that you are boring if you don’t, is complete and utter tosh! I am fun and energetic and I don’t need alcohol to be that way. Yes a drink or two makes me feel a little more relaxed in social situations, but I can just as easily have fun without it. I don’t like the implication that you have to drink to be cool, you do you, not because someone else made you feel you had to do something you didn’t want to.
And no, I have not been hanging out with the wrong crowd of people, but in fact my friends have always respected that I stop when I want to stop and they don’t push me. Ironically out of school, university and work, I think the time I have felt most pressured to drink is at work.
Do I wish I drank more?
I do at times wish I enjoyed a glass of wine, it’s a social drink and seems a bit more adult than a malibu and coke. The best chance of a social drink I have is the odd rum based cocktail, but even then I struggle to find one I like (shout out to Slug & Lettuce’s Passion Fruit Daiquiri for being one of the only cocktails I genuinely like the taste of). But I am also very okay with being the sober driver, the woman with the soft drink.
On top of just not enjoying alcohol all that much, another huge contributor to not wanting to get drunk is my OCD/fear of being sick. I think my cleanliness and OCD developed because of a deep phobia of vomiting. And what do people sometimes do when they get too drunk? For me, I would never voluntarily put myself in a position that may incur me to experience my phobia. Sometimes that is difficult, I find my OCD stops me from doing certain things and this is one of them. But, if it means I get to wake up the next day and enjoy my day without feeling ill, it is worth it for me.
I wrote a Twitter thread that you can interact with here, about drinking and respecting other people’s choices. It is up to any individual if they drink at all, how much they drink and when they stop drinking. That is their decision as an adult. I do not judge anyone for making those choices, as I hope people don’t with me and mine.
Really love this post! I don’t drink mainly because I don’t like the taste and I am the type of person that, when I like something, I tend to overdue it and I don’t want to become addicted (it also runs in the family). Why have something that tastes like chemicals when you can have cake?? I’ve never had anyone push me to drink more (I have been told I can be intimidating, so maybe that’s why LOL) but I’ve definitely felt the societal pressure. Good on you for standing up to yourself!
I would much rather having some cake Sarah! Thanks for your comment 💛
Oh. 😀😀😀 I thought I was alone in this. I’m 30 I’ve never been drunk. I do drink skittle and I’ve been tipsy. Every time I plan to get drunk I chicken out, it started because the feeling of being tipsy reminds me of when I’ve had bouts of this derealization causes by anxiety. I have passed that now but still don’t have the urge to get drunk. I was planning to on my 30th birthday but my stomach was being weird.
Malibu a teenagers drink?! That’s what I drink when I am out. I love Malibu and pineapple. I drink rum and ginger beer at home.
I have gone off the idea of being drunk. Wonder if I’ll change my mind. I can relate to those things people say. They always thought I was odd in my teens that I didn’t drink. I’m glad you wrote this 😀
I’m really glad it helped Jen! For me, going out to get drunk has never been a goal. I don’t mind having one or two sometimes, but I just don’t need it to enjoy myself.
Same!! drinking makes me so anxious and reminds me of how my dissociative light heded anxiety feels. last 2 times ive drunk i ended up having a panic attack god knows why
I am so angry that someone made you feel bad for not liking to drink/get drunk and am always so confused at why people think to judge others for something as simple as personal preference. I’m so sorry that people do that! Your reasons for not liking to get drunk are very, very valid and I hope people learn to not judge you based on your choices. Because, at some point, it’s not you who’s boring for personal choices… it’s them, for being so painfully judgmental. I’m really glad it’s not your friends who act like this but it’s still frustrating nonetheless, especially since drinking so frequently can lead people down a very, very bad path. I’m saying that as someone who likes to drink, but not necessarily get drunk, and who knows her limits, too.
Anyways, I really enjoyed reading this post and you’re right: it’s a personal choice and we shouldn’t ridicule each other for it.
Thank you for comment Jessica, glad you enjoyed the post! I wish people would start to think the same as you.
I agree with everything you say in this post, Beth. I am teetotal and several people I know have been surprised when I have told them this. You don’t need to be drunk to have a good time, and I very happy drinking tea and soft drinks instead 🙂
I’m with you there, I certainly don’t need it to have a good time!
Alcohol and a good time have never been mutually exclusive. While in college I used to go out a lot – I won’t deny I had a few drinks but I mostly drank coke. & water. I have always been able to have a good time without drinking alcohol. I am not against it, I enjoy a glass or two of wine but I rarely drink. Never feel you have to do with others are doing in order to have a good time.
I’m the same Maggie. For me it just isn’t needed and I don’t enjoy it enough to want to spend my money on it really.
Sorry to hear that you’ve had to put up with rude and inconsiderate people but I think this will always be the case as some people think no one can have a good time without alcohol, which as you know, isn’t true.
That said, I’ve enjoyed drinking since the age of 18 and am a regular social drinker, as are my siblings and all my friends. For the past 10 years however, I’ve only been drinking at weekends and don’t touch it during the week – better for my health and finances! I no longer get horribly drunk like I used to when I was younger but have to say that I do still get fairly drunk once in a while.
At the Christmas party, I wasn’t feeling 100% so only had two drinks and then switched to soft drinks. When asked why I wasn’t drinking, I just replied that ‘I was pacing myself’, whereupon I just got a nudge and a wink and no bother! I did still enjoy myself but have to say that without the cushion of inebriation, I felt the cold and my sore dancing feet a lot more!
Keep on doing what you’re doing, don’t let anyone tell you what to drink/not to drink but sadly, you’re always going to get idiots who will try to.
I enjoyed reading your comment! Interesting to hear that anyone seems to get pressure for it, even when drinking!
I completely agree with everything in this post. I don’t drink and it’s hard being around people that do because they always try to force me to drink. It’s gotten to the point where I try not to go out if alcohol will be involved because I’m tired of having to explain myself.
It does get quite repetitive!
I definitely emphasize with this! I’ve been straight-edge my entire life, as trying a few different drinks and realizing I didn’t like the taste of any of them, and I’ve never had the desire to experience what it felt like to get drunk, so I’ve never been. A lot of people take issue with that or assume, because I’m straight-edge, that I automatically judge someone else when they’re drinking around me, which is *not* the case. I’d just rather drink a water or a Sprite. You do you, let me do me.
Thank you for writing this post, though! It’s always great to feel like you’re not alone.
Definitely not alone Nicole, it’s such a shame people feel the need to judge for it.
Hi Beth. This is a very interesting point of view. It made me think that maybe people that are making you feel bad for drinking just want to feel less guilty themselves because maybe they’re drinking too much.
I’ve been on both sides of the barricade, and I think that we should all be left free of doing whatever makes us feel more comfortable.
Thank you for this post.
Maggie
Couldn’t have said it better myself Maggie!
I don’t drink and only come across this from people that I knew years ago and knew how much I drank before. However, when my husband was in the military he got this a lot and was alienated a lot because he refused to drink. So its tough.
Thanks for posting about this.
I’m glad you enjoyed the post Tanya, thank you for leaving a comment!
Yes to this post! I don’t drink now too because a) it tastes like butt; b) if it’s the sweet mixes I can’t have too much sugar so that’s a no and c) I’m allergic to alcohol, I get hives all over and I have a hard time breathing. I’m only 22 so it’s more annoying because most people my age expect me to be partying and drinking. I don’t care though, if they want to be blackout drunk, go ahead, I’d rather cut ties with you than have you judge me every time.
Well said Monica Rose! I hate that people insist on someone drinking too when there are actual medical reasons as to why they can’t! People can be very narrow minded about it sadly.
I have never been drunk as well and I don’t have this urge or need to become drunk in the future. I don’t think the stories of the people who have been drunk sound very appealing to me, so no thanks 😂 Most times I drink about two or three beers/drinks, but that’s also where I just get tired and want to sleep instead of staying out 🙈 Luckily I’ve never heard that I need to drink more to be more fun, and that also makes me think that I’ve been hanging around with exactly the right people!
That’s good to hear Romi! I hate the pressure of it all, so it’s nice to know you’re surrounded by people who just don’t really care about it!
I enjoy the odd drink but will happily go out and not drink at all, however some people seem to have a problem with that… I’ve never known why! To make up for the fact that I’d often have a soft drink, some of my ex’s friends would order me a double when I did drink… So annoying! If you need alcohol to have fun then there’s a problem… It’s an even bigger problem if you think someone else should be drinking too.
I agree, it should be everyone’s own decision what and if they drink.
I don’t enjoy being drunk. I have been drunk and I hate the feeling of not being 100% alert, compromised judgement etc. I am the sort of person that likes to be in control of the way I feel and my body. I hate the whooshy sensation in my head, the room spinning and the nausea. I’ve only been drunk a handful of times and now I’m old enough and confident enough to not care anymore what others think of me, I am quite happy to be the designated driver. I have a couple of glasses of gin and the switch to a soft drink.
The sad thing about that is that I sometimes find myself going up to the bar and asking for lemonade but add the garnishes to make it look like an alcoholic beverage so that I don’t have to be pestered or called boring!
The joke is on the drinkers though. I am an insufferable morning person. 6am and BING! I’m awake! I take great delight in being chirpy and lively right when everyone else is nursing their aching heads!
That sucks though that you have to make it look like you’re drinking alcohol. It definitely shoudln’t be anyone else’s choice what you do and don’t drink. I’d say just stuff them and drink what you want!
I relate to this post so much. I don’t drink apart from the odd gin & tonic once every few months because it’s the only alcoholic drink I actually enjoy the taste of. I’ve felt so out of place sometimes at uni with everyone going out drinking. I did a series of #sobernotboring posts on my blog because I hated feeling stereotyped. I’ve always felt like there’s a view that you have to have something wrong with you, like an illness, for you not to drink. The fact that there are people who simply choose not to drink/get drunk is still something that society struggles to understand but hopefully we can change this! X
Megan | https://meganelizabethlifestyle.com/
I hope so too Megan, I’m glad you enjoyed the post. I’ll have to check some of your ones out too. It really upsets me that people can’t just leave the situation alone, but alas, we are still made to feel as outsiders if we don’t choose to drink.
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