I was bullied.

25/06/2018

I don’t know what gave a handful of children when I was eleven the right to belittle me, laugh at my cleverness, my clothes, my face. I don’t know why they did it, but the thing is, now I don’t even care. I went through numerous different types of bullying, I was called names, I was followed home from school, I had rocks thrown at me. To be honest I don’t think I’ve ever completely seen the end of this, even in my late teenage years at school people still took the piss out of my geekiness, and even now in a work environment I have adults finding it hilarious that I know my alcohol limits, I don’t watch Love Island and I am a geek. I have been through this quite a lot, perhaps you could say I’m an expert, so now as an adult those comments don’t get to me like they did, sure they’re annoying and they certainly get an eye roll or two from me. But I like who I am, I’m proud of my hobbies and what I have achieved in my life so far.

I love Star Trek, I’m not as hardcore a fan as I would like to be, I have seen the earlier episodes, but my love stemmed when the films started to be released again with Chris Pine. I love the franchise, I think it’s superb.

I love books, books have always been my safe haven. As a kid I would bring a book with me to all family events and sit and read, I continued this into school and work, always having a book handy should I find a moment alone.

I love Doctor Who, ever since Christopher Eccleston welcomed the series back I’ve been a fan. Tennant and Smith are my favourites Doctors and yes, I get defensive when people call him Doctor Who and not the Doctor.

I understand technology, I used to work for an Apple reseller and I worked on my university’s IT help-desk. I am the go to person for tech at work because I either know what I’m talking about, or I can figure it out as I go along.

I like to have an alcoholic drink sometimes, but I don’t love it and I certainly know my limits. I know exactly when to stop before I feel sick and ruin my night. As a result I have never had a true hangover or been sick from alcohol.

I have never smoked or done drugs. I went to Amsterdam for the museums, not the substances and the drink. (That one people find very hard to believe)

Apparently these things, and others, make me a geek and I quote ‘BORING’. What?! I have heard this so many times now from people who don’t know me, they say because of what I like, or apparently don’t like, I am boring. People who know me though know that my passions are part of me, I don’t need to drink to have a good time and I am a fun person who likes a laugh and to act like a bit of a crazy person.

I have absolutely no issue with people who drink loads, do drugs, smoke, hate Doctor Who (eek), love reality TV – that is fine, because you like what you like! I had someone take the piss out of me about not trying drugs in Amsterdam, they went on to assume I would have been highly offended by the Red Light District and probably wouldn’t visit. The presumption that I am a prude and shy away from sex like I do drugs and drink is not true, I visited all corners of the city, we went in the Sex Museum, we saw the art etc. Just because I don’t like certain activities, it does not make me a dull and orderly person who can’t talk about adult topics such as sex. Heck, I hate to follow rules, I am not an instruction reader with IKEA or life.

How does this relate to the bullying? People always told me at school who I should be, and for a while I listened. At twelve I was told my eyebrows were awful, too hairy, a monobrow, so I waxed them (now I have great eyebrows so that one didn’t turn out so bad for me), my rucksack for school was too big, so I opted for a shoulder bag for my  fifty school books (that one wasn’t so great for me as I now have scoliosis). I let the bullies words in when I was younger, I didn’t really know what else to do, people around me offered advice, but I think this is one you have to live through. Some people are lucky enough to not have to, but I did and you know what? As cliche and cheesy as it sounds, I came out a 100% better person for it. I know who I am in life and I am certainly okay with that person.

Have you ever fallen victims to the bullies? Isn’t it funny that those who gave us shit when we were younger tend to be the ones who aren’t quite were they want to be in life now. I wouldn’t change the bullying, I wouldn’t stop it from happening, because it certainly taught me about who I wanted to be. I used to be embarrassed by my passions, but now I embrace them and will talk about them proudly.

If you feel comfortable to, I’d love for you to share your experiences below.

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